Vocals (Northern) – Matt ‘D’ Cheetham
Can’t sing for toffee. Won’t sing for toffee. Will yodel for fudge.
Once worked as a dancer for a well known recording artist on the European leg of their world tour before he retired following a mysterious whiplash injury.

Vocals (Southern) & Assorted Noises – Prole ‘Poncho’ Neumann
Should stick to what he’s best at – whatever that is. Unfortunately he doesn’t.
Worked as an army hairdresser after leaving school but was sacked, narrowly avoiding prosecution, after he was found to have faked his qualifications.

Keyboards – Dr. ‘Fingers’ Inglis
Transparently brilliant musician. Clearly miming.
A promising junior Bantamweight, and former regional champion, he gave up boxing to study music. Currently writing the world’s first Speech Impediment Opera.

Drums – Samantha ‘The Vixen’ Rixon
Will hit anything for kicks. Recently hit the north.
Travels around the world impersonating famous landmarks and confusing tourists – she recently won an award for her Ayers Rock and is currently perfecting her Blackpool Tower. She folds neatly away at the end of the day.